Bad Blood ~ Female Friendships Part 1

 Today's topic: female friendships. Part 1.

What makes a healthy female friendship? What makes a toxic one? How do we tell the difference?

Before we begin, a big thank you to everyone who shared & submitted their stories & opinions on this topic via Twitter & e-mail.

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In order to understand what a healthy friendship is, we need to figure out what a toxic one looks like.

In Part 1 of this topic we're looking at toxic relationships. You know the type. You get this unpleasant feeling in your gut, something feels off, or you feel like you're punishing yourself every time you guys catch up. There's no sense of joy or contentment - no connection. 

I could go on forever about what those friendships feel like. But the point is...often, we stay in them. We trick ourselves into believing that a bad friend is better than having no friend at all.

But we deserve better.

We deserve female friends who will help us to grow as women, who will support us and allow us to support them in return.

Which is exactly what Jess realized. And here is her story:

"I had a toxic friendship once.

It got very one sided towards the end. If things didn't go her way she would get very annoyed. My parents would happily have her along for New Years Eve events but we rarely got thanks out of it. She was a difficult person to be around. She was the type of friend who would want to catch up (and I would get really excited for it) but cancel at the last minute due to lack of funds or "having to work". I wouldn't have questioned her, except it happened all the time. 

It happened so much that towards the end of the friendship I was over it. The defining end to our friendship was when she wanted to hang out but I couldn't - for once. I was semi grounded and had to prepare for a friends 21st birthday party the night after. I couldn't even make it to the funeral of a former work colleague! All I got back in a text was "ok" and soon after I was deleted on Facebook.

That hurt.

After all the times I'd accepted her excuses, put up with her running late or cancelling on me, she couldn't even do the same for me once. One cancellation - totally out of my control - and I was officially off the friend list.

She had a lot of problems, I guess - she pushed a lot of her other friends away too. She's now engaged. I wish her the best." ~ submitted by Jess

 Jess' story holds a lot of important points that I'm going to now cover. Those are in bold.

True Feminism & Killing The Unicorn ~ A Guest Post

Here at the NSRCG Project we aim to bring you real stories faced by real women.

Today we have privilege of featuring the amazing blogger & YA author K.R. Conway! And she's going to talk to us about killing unicorns, glass ceilings, and the meaning of true feminism.

Kill the Unicorn

~ A guest post by K.R. Conway ~

I grew up next to the ocean on Cape Cod, wedged between the downtown district of Hyannis to the West, and the crime-ridden neighborhood of forgotten souls to the East.

My street was the place of flickering street lights, spaced far enough apart that the houses in between could fall into pockets of shadows as dense and dark as the licorice sold by the candy shop on Main Street. Fords would race Hondas, bumper to bumper down our long stretch of asphalt, while drugs were whispered about behind pulled curtains. Interracial couples were seen as normal, and slang was its own unique language.   

My neighborhood was a bullseye for all the isms that society could cast our way. racism, classism, and yes – sexism. The kicker was, I don’t think we realized our strip of road fell into the categories that branded us. We were proud that we were a mixed race neighborhood and that our aching, blue-collared fingers brought in paychecks. And as for sexism? The girls could kick your ass just as well as the boys.   

In my neighborhood, I had more guy friends than girl friends. It could have been luck of the draw, for the guys did out number the gals. Or it could’ve been the way I was raised – in a house that demanded I work hard, play hard, and never become pinned by society’s vision of what a “girl” should be.

NSRCG Bookclub ~ Empowering Reads

The NSRCG Bookclub is bringing you great empowering reads each week!

Looking for a book that will not only hold your interest, but will help you in your everyday life? Well look no further! Here at the NSRCG Project, we're bringing you a selection of reads that are guaranteed to help you with your self-image, self-love, and in becoming a stronger female - ready to face the world.

So without further ado, here are this week's picks! 

Women In The Workplace ~ A Guest Post

Here at the NSRCG Project we aim to bring you real stories faced by real women.

And today we have the lovely blogger Lunaty from The ReadingNook NZ here to talk to us about women in the workplace and the issues they face. 

Women In The Workplace

~ A guest post by Lunaty ~

We are all aware of the fact that there is a stereotypical divide between wages amongst jobs or your career path (if your lucky enough to be in one). It is a well known fact that ‘we’ as woman tend to earn a little less. However, just as gay marriage has become more of normality, our society is slowly coming around to pulling this rift together. 

Perhaps some sectors might even sport the opposite to be true (nursing, hairdressing, or what about early childhood educators). So how come I still have friends struggling to land that high position or that are working themselves flat without the reward they are aiming for? 

There seems to be one issue that regardless of equality in pay will still remain and it may have to do with this:

When a woman speaks up in the meeting room or on the job, they are easier dismissed or considered intrusive then when her male counterpart does so. The stereo typical assumption that woman should be the quite spectator, not make a fuss and let the men lead instead.

Through The Looking Glass: Body Shaming & Self-Image

Today's topic: mirrors. 

No, not the Justin Timberlake song (which is amazing by the way). Just...mirrors. Like the kind you buy from IKEA. 
 

 Have you ever looked at a mirror and cringed?

You haven't even looked in the mirror yet, but something inside of you is reacting violently to the idea of going anywhere near that sheet of glass. 

It's a mirror, for crying out loud. An inanimate object. What's it going to do...bite you? Scream at you? Well...no. No it's not. So why is there fear lurking at the edges of your mind? 

You don't always acknowledge it, but it's there. The fear of what you'll see. The fear of seeing what you know will be there. 

The fear of not seeing what you hope will be there. 

Have you ever experienced body shame?

Because that my friends is what we're actually discussing today. Not the pros and cons of mirrors, not the fear of mirrors themselves, but the emotions associated with body shame. Body shame is a very real thing and it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.